Day 12 (Oct 22)

I'm back!  Yes, I sort of went away.  My excuses?   Ummmm.... well, my mom came over for a couple of days to help me clean in my basement.  We got a lot done.   And Saturday was the Open House for the wildlife center I volunteer at (bad food day for me!  2 small bags of the best -- although slightly too salty -- popcorn that I'm not supposed to have!!!)

Anyway, the good thing about setbacks is that you can just start again.  It's not the end of the world and doesn't mean that you can't keep going.  


I think I was trying to change everything at once which, as most people know, discourages you.  This week I'm going to focus on spreading my food out into more even amounts ("grazing", as my doctor called it).   I still tend to see things as Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner with snacks... but actually, it should be like 6 small meals a day.  That is actually hard to do.  It's easy to do snacks.  I like snacks!   :-)

But actually making it 6 small meals will be harder.  I need to cut back on the traditional meals and make the "snacks" more meaningful.  So, this is something I need to work on.  First step, tho, is just spreading it out.   I don't have a lot of calories & carbs to play with.   My only concern is that I'm not sure how to take my insulin with spreading the carbs throughout the day.  Believe me, you need to have an advanced degree in math to figure out the whole insulin issue.  Obviously, my ultimate goal is to get off the insulin, but right now, when I eat carbs, my blood glucose rises.  You might think that spreading the carbs evenly through the day will be helpful to the diabetes.... in the long run, yes.   If I get off the insulin, yes.  But the way the insulin works is that it is fast-acting for the carbs you are eating.   I'm supposed to take it 3 times a day with breakfast, lunch & dinner.   Starting to see the problem?  Basically, if I take less because I'm eating less, then when I eat the "snacks" I'm not sure it will cover.   And I'm sure as heck not going to take 6-7 shots a day!!    So, it's going to take some adjustment.   Testing....   I'm sure I'll have both high and low blood sugar moments (interestingly, ever since I started the erythromycin for my GP, I keep having low blood sugar!!   I read the side effects and it said that it can cause *increased* blood sugars.   Go figure.). 

Day 6 (Oct 16)

Well, I had a low-blood sugar episode, with seeing twinkles and everything.   So, yeah, I binged:  3 bags of mini pretzels (halloween size) and 2 granola bars.   Ugh.  And now I feel like eating junk (wish I had more!!) because I'm very upset.   I cancelled my dog-walking service over the weekend because I pretty much work every day from home and the only exercise I get is walking my dog and seems silly for me to be sitting here while someone comes to pick my dog up and take her out....   anyway, the dog walker just called and left a message (cuz I was too chicken to answer the phone) and was saying that he was sorry for all the times he was late and that he'd miss Callie and yes, I ended up blubbering very badly and freaking out (I mentioned I have anxiety issues, right?   And I'm just neurotic in general and I can not handle conflict/confrontation of any kind).  I will have to call him back and tell him it wasn't him (tho, he is right that the times he was late were really frustrating for me).

So, now I want to comfort myself with food, right?  Not too much comfort food here (junk food).  I did have the last cadbury "screme" egg.   I'm really in the mood for cheeseballs.... ever since going to Second Chance a couple weekends ago and they had a big bin of cheeseballs.... so I got one to eat before I started this blog (*red cheeks*) but I ended up dumping them cuz I was just eating them too much.   But. boy do I want them right now.  

 

Day 4 (Oct 14)

Whoooeeee.   I just got back from the longest walk I've taken with my dog since.... well since before I had her!  Now I'll pay for it.   Okay, I was paying for it during the walk.   But, wow.   I didn't know I had it in me.

Okay, I went to the store this morning and I was determined to get these pumpkin donuts I've seen there (there were only 4 in a box) and they didn't have them!   I settled on a couple of cadbury "screme" eggs, but after adding them to my diary, they sure weren't worth the calories/fat.

I also got sick in the store.  This is the second time I've gotten sick in there in as many weeks.  Won't go into detail, but I think I need to take an immodium before I head out to any stores from now on.  

Yesterday I went way over on my fat/sat fat because I had the most delicious soup and didn't pay attention to that nutrition stuff till I went to eat it.  1 cup has 15 grams of fat and 9 grams of sat fat!   When you are trying to keep your sat fat to less than 14, that's a whole lotta fat.   And unfortunately, when I went to put the leftovers in a container, I realized I had 1 1/2 cups.  Yikes.  It was creamy red pepper with smoked gouda..... very yummy....

Made a spinach puree... well, I think I need to see if my bigger food processor still works because the little one I'm using doesn't quite puree it.   I mixed it into spaghetti sauce, put it on a really awesome pita bread (will have to look it up so I can plug it properly) with a little reduced fat mozzarella and it was an awesome mini pizza.   Tasted really good!   I'm thinking of trying to put a little bit of that mixture on a morningstar griller on a hamburger bun.  Not sure it will work...

Day 3 (Oct 13)

Ugh.   I am sooo sleepy today.   Woke up at 6am, ate my cream of wheat and promptly went back to sleep.  Woke up about quarter of 8 and realized there was no way I could handle Second Chance this morning.  But, come hell or inflamed lumps, I will be there next week as it is their Open House.  But, this morning:  sleepy, cold-like symptoms (I get them a lot in the morning), tummy not the happiest although it is time to eat again.   I need to hard boil some eggs.

Last night I ended up binging slightly before bedtime and ate 2 1/2 (cuz I gave a little to my dog, Callie) granola bars (which I need to watch the amount).  I think it was because I was looking at recipes for sandwich spreads and made myself hungry.   But, you'll find I tend to binge every now and then...especially if my blood sugar drops.   It'll drop because either I've miscalcuated the insulin at the last meal, or because my GP makes my blood sugar a little erratic.   Now, we are supposed to follow the Rule of 15:   15 carbs and then wait 15 minutes and test again.   But, try telling yourself that when you are sweating and shaking and woozy and confused and feel like you are going to pass out.   Yeah, you eat until you start to feel better.   Then, of course, you've eaten too much and may end up having to take more insulin.   Gah.   I'll try to be better about the rule of 15.... Maybe at least eat 30 and check in 10....

Day 2 (Oct 12)

Ugh... went to the gastro doc today and found out that my GP is not reversible.  I can only treat it as-is and hope to prevent it from worsening.   Again, he empasized that I need to eat small, frequent meals... no big meals... I should just "graze".

Also, we are going to try zofran for the nausea/retching I get in the morning.   I will pick it up Sunday and start it Sunday night.   He said to try it for a month and if there is no improvement, he wants me to try a very reduced dose of the reglan which drove me crazy(er) last year.   But, he said the amount would be just a teensy bit of what I was taking before because he thinks it is the best thing for my retching and it can help a little with the delayed emptying.   He also said to supplement my erythromycin with gas-x.   I stay on the erythro for like ever... or until it stops working.   A bit unsure on the cost as I received a letter from my insurance company that it is not "a preferred drug", but gastro doc said he'd talk to them if need be.

My house cleaning goals for today (I'm on a mini leave of absence from work) is to clean my kitchen tables, wash the dishes (making this a daily chore) and do some laundry.   Those are my minimum goals... but right now I feel so tired, I just want to sleep.   Going to drink my cup of tea and maybe that will pep me up.

 

 

 

Okay, here it is after dinner.   That Mac & Cheese from last night was actually better warmed up the next day.  I'm going to go over my carb limit today.  :-(     I forgot to mention two important things about me:   I'm vegetarian and I'm a very picky eater.  Just to add to the mix. 

 

If I can stop playing World of Warcraft (WoW) long enough, I'm going to google sandwich spreads...thinking I could sneak some of those veggie purees into those and I need something else for snacking.  It would be good if I could figure out a way to add a little protein to it, too.   I like the little mini-bagels, so a little spread on the bagels would be cool.   Lots of things to look up.   From what I understand from my GP support groups, a lot of it is just trial and error to see what your tummy can tolerate.   I might even be able to handle some raw veggies/fruits. 

 

So, I got one of the kitchen tables cleaned off, but it still needs polishing.  Washed the dishes.  Discovered I didn't have enough clothes to do the laundry.   Took Callie on a medium walk.   But, sleep won over that cup of tea and my tummy was a little upset this afternoon.

 

Oh yes, and I've rediscovered one of my calming techniques:  scented candles.  



Day 1 (Oct 11)

Welcome to Day 1!!!

So, I will be using myfitness pal to keep track of my diet and exercise.  You can access it at:  http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/jennyw1969.

Now what you will see is mainly me walking the dog and cleaning house and trying a little extra exercise here and there.  As I mentioned before, exercise bothers my DD, so I'll do the best I can.

Also, you will see what I eat.   Of course, I will have setbacks and ocassionally eat bad things, but what you see me eating is in keeping with my gastroparesis diet and the bile gastritis preventive diet, which is low-fiber, low-fat, frequent meals and avoiding some foods that cause bezoars -- like broccoli, beans (okay, I know I'll slip up there, but I'll try to be sure it is a pureed form), things with seeds, a variety of other things.  I'm not spposed to have raw veggies or fruits (except for bananas), but I do want to increase the amount I get, so I got the Jessica Seinfeld Deceptively Delicious book where she purees veggies and sneaks them into foods.   I'm hoping to get some energy back to try some of those things (I used to love baking).  And I'll be trying some other things.

Basically, want to keep my fiber between 10-15 a day, my fat around 40 grams with sat fat around 10 and carbs around 180.  My fitness pal has me at 1300 calories with 43 grams of fat, 14 sat fat and 179 carbs.... so close enough.  :-)

So, I weighed in this morning at 163....   Here we go....

I tried Jessica Seinfeld's Deceptively Delicious mac & cheese w/ cauliflower puree.   It was good but I will cut the cheese by like half next time and try to get the cauliflower even more pureed or softer in general.

Anyway, My Fitness Pal fussed at me for not eating enough as I only ate 1105 calories.  So, need to squeeze in more.   I also barely made my water/fluid intake goal!!  I did make my exercise goal as I'm starting out slow & easy.

MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

Intro to Me (Part 3 -- A Better Me?)

What am I trying to do here besides bitch and complain?   I just want to document my journey as I try out different things.... I want to shout from the mountaintops when I've accomplished a goal (or at least made some progress) and I want to have a pity party when I've had a setback.

First,  I need to put some starting stats up.   As I said, I'm not sure how many of these I can change, so I'm not really going to give myself exact goals.   That makes it harder because it is easier to be motivated when you have exact goals.   The only goal I will give myself is weight because although due to some circumstances I might not be able to get down to my preferred weight, I think there is no reason I shouldn't be able to get down to my official healthy range weight.

Obviously, my ideal is to reverse my diabetes and get off all diabetes drugs and the blood pressure meds.   But, I'm not sure if my pancreas is too damaged for that now.   It is something to ask the endocrinologist at the next appointment.  But, I would like to at least be able to reduce the amount of insulin I'm taking.   I'm going to get very obsessive about my numbers... I did that once and was having some good numbers.   My latest A1C (this is a number that sort of averages the last 3 months of blood glucose numbers) was 7%.   Most medical associations say that you don't want to go over 7% as a diabetic.  My endo is more strict and wants it closer to 6%.  I do, too! 

So, as I mentioned, I weigh 164.8 as of this morning (9/26/2012).  I absolutely want to get to 130, which will put me at the top of the official healthy range for my height.   In 90 days, as I said, 10 lbs will make me ecstatic.  So, if 3 months from now I weigh 155, yay for me (incidentally, I weighed 155 lbs when I was diagnosed with diabetes).

I want my triglycerides as close to normal as possible.   My June report said they were a whopping 530, which is extremely high.   Luckily, they dropped down to 330 in September, which is still very high, but lowering.

And it would be nice to get off the blood pressure meds because technically, the migraine med I take is also a blood pressure med, so I shouldn't need two!!

Now, that was all just the health stuff....   I also want to get my house clean and organized and maybe reclaim some of my former self... the things I used to like to do.

So, let's just recap:

• Improve/reverse diabetes and reduce/eliminate diabetes meds
• Lose 10 lbs in 90 days (with ultimate goal of 30ish lbs)
• Lower triglycerides
• Get off blood pressure med
• Clean house
• Find the old me